Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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