new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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