So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
