thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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