there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
