Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
