return my video game
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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