when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
