you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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