I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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