why didn't you poke me back
Ambien. No doubt about it.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
