You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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