i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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