Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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