i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So vagazzling was a success
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
