he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
