Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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