i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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