Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
tell me about the fingering
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