How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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