is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
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