I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
