I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
