So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
