so explain again why im purple
no
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Dear god my vagina.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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