Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
