Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
