Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
We need to rekindle our bromance
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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