Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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