What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
