Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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