can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
