if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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