is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
