Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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