She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
