I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
