okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
