I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
