I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
