Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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