sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
