I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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