omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
