Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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