Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
