I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Mom said you looked used
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
