Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
