We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
