ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
