Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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