i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
