Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
