So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
