I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
