sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
