My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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