im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Bring me that man meat
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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