I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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