A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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