Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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