the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i think i just lost a toe
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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