Your mouth is God's brothel.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
