Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
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