Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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