I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
