Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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