the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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