a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Randomize
