even my farts smell like vagina
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
