Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
