When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
