it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
