I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
