Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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