he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize