im having a threesome with these popsicles
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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