I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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