Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
