This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize